Psych testing

I applied for a job at Old Navy a few months ago and they gave me a psych test. It was online, took about half an hour, and involved a series of questions about honesty, integrity, and stealing from work. I am pretty sure I failed it, because I never heard from them. I failed it because I refused to lie, it was after all, a test about honesty. The first question was something like "are you always honest?" I said of course I was. The next question was "If your sibling was stealing from their employer, would you turn them in." I said of course I wouldn't. Would anyone really do that? Why the hell would I choose a company full of people I don't even know over my brother? My brother could kill someone and I wouldn't turn him in. Not that he would of course, he's a fancy lawyer now, soon he'll be able to pay someone else to do that for him! I'm kidding of course, my brother would never risk losing his license to practice, he worked too hard to get where he is. But my sense of loyalty to family and friends is too strong to ever turn them in for anything. I'm also a hypocrite, because when strangers do certain things, I think "wow, that was really awful," but if a friend did it, I'd take their side against anyone. So why the hell would I turn my sibling in for stealing from work? Does anyone answer "yes" to that question?

Another question that I probably failed- "If a vending machine gave you a soda even though you didn't put any money in it, would you find a way to pay for it?' Seriously? Are there people so honest out there that if they got a free can of soda, they would hunt down the address and send a check for the $1.25? (Remember when soda was only .50? I miss that.) If these people exist, why aren't THEY in politics? Clearly they're much better suited.

Another failure- "If you got home and noticed that the cashier forgot to charge you for a $1 item, would you go back and pay for it?" I actually know people who do this. They think I'm a criminal because I said "hell no!" Free stuff is free stuff. Besides, it would cost me more in gas to go back and pay for it, not to mention the cost of my time. I work in retail of sorts seasonally, I've accidentally given away merchandise before, and I would never expect someone to come back and pay for it. Times are tough, and I think of the freebies as the universes random acts of kindness. The Gods of Retail are saying "hey, you look like you could use a free balloon today, I'll make that cashier forget to ring it up." I'm not want to go against the gods, if they want me to have a free balloon, I'm not throwing it back in their faces. Their revenge would be to overcharge me on something the next time!

Question after question, I answered honestly. No, I wouldn't steal merchandise from the store, but yes, I might steal pens and paperclips. Not on purpose, but if I got home and found a paperclip in my pocket, I would go turn myself in for theft. I think the question about whether or not I wanted to make cashiering at Old Navy my career kind of did me in too. I guess they were a little put off by the fact that I didn't find making $8 an hour for the rest of my life as appealing as say, finishing college and getting a job that actually allows me to eat, provides health insurance for my child, and possibly even contributes to some sort of retirement plan.

I find it very ironic that in order to get a job, you have to basically be a liar. I know how to pass those tests, everyone does. Lie, lie, lie. I cannot think of a single person who is so incredibly scrupulous that they could answer every one of those questions correct honestly. If those people don't exist, then the entire industry is staffed by liars. Kind of like politics!