Jacob has a new imaginary friend. Her name is ZeeZee. I'm fairly convinced she is a sociopath at best, a demonic entity at worse. ZeeZee arrived about a week or so ago, apparently from outer space, where she returns when she's not hanging out inspiring my son to perform wicked acts. I learned tonight that she is 18. A little old for my not-quite four year old, don't you think? She doesn't come around when I'm here.
Since her arrival, ZeeZee has taught my son the word "bullshit," told him all about cutting people during surgery, and taught him a few new games that I'm not sure I really want to know about. I swear, I didn't teach him to say "bullshit." I rarely use that word. I use a lot of other words that I wouldn't want him to repeat, but I've never been a fan of the way "bullshit" flows off the tongue. It is possible he heard it from his father months ago, while his father was still around. It's possible he heard it on TV in passing, although I'm pretty careful about limiting his television watching to such calming and educational influences as Spiderman, Power Rangers, and Scooby Doo. It is unlikely that his imaginary friend taught it to him, therefore she must be a demonic entity. It's only logical.
I'm not at all freaked about the sudden emmergence of ZeeZee. I had four imaginary friends with equally strange names. One was very mischievous. I understand that he has a lot to work out in his little brain. Daddy left, Mommy is stressed a lot, and George W. Bush is still a free man. It's a lot of confusion to comprehend for a tiny little mind. But ZeeZee is downright creepy! My therapist (doesn't that sound so metro?) claims that nothing jumps out at her as being strange, and that ZeeZee is a perfectly normal, rational response for a child his age. But my therapist doesn't have to hide the knives in case ZeeZee convinces Jacob that he is perfectly in his right to skip eight years of medical school, surgical internships and residencies (I watch Grey's Anatomy, I know what schooling you need to cut into people) and move right on to the solo surgery.
Can someone recommend a good exorcist?
4 months ago
4 comments:
Are you sure he's not saying "GG"? That could be really scary. The spirit of GG Allin talking to your son.
As for "bullshit," Scooby Doo is notorious for its use of the word. "That's bullshit, Scoob." "This is bullshit! If it weren't for you meddling kids I would've gotten away with this."
You need to monitor his television more carefully.
We actually thought he was saying Gigi at first. If it was GG Allin, I would exorcise his butt so fast his cytoplasmic head would spin. Blech!
We if he starts pooping on things & people then you know it GG, otherwise I wouldn't stress on it.
Ms. Slug, you should always stress. It's good for the heart.
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