Today, after applying for yet another job about which I'll probably never hear back, I decided to peruse the library for an hour. I love the library, filled with thousands of books (however, none of my extensive Amazon wish list books can ever be found there, much to my chagrin), people being obnoxiously quiet, and stacks high enough to hide me indefinitely from the outside world (also too high for me to actually reach anything, but they are kind enough to provide stools every three feet, so they get points for being short-person friendly). I like to go and just randomly browse a section or two in great depth. Today I somehow managed to choose the section that contains self-help books, followed by true crime and conspiracy books. Yes, I believe there is a connection between the two, but do we really want to get that far into my muddled way of thinking? Even my therapist gets a bit confused at times, and she is trained to understand crazy little minds.
I honestly do not get the appeal of the self-help book. This is a multi-million dollar market. The New York Times Bestseller's List now has, at least on Amazon, an entire list devoted to these types of books. Entire books dedicated to telling me how to transform my entire life by just changing the way I think. Books that tell me how to get rid of self-defeating behavior, how to think positive, how to think more like a man (oh the places I could go with this) , how to let go and let some form of higher power take over, and how to not "sweat the small stuff." All I have to do is read thier book, and my life will instantly be better.
Does it actually work for anyone? I really want to know. Will I read a book about the power of positive thinking and suddenly be freed from all the anxiety about my lack of gainful employment. Will I be struck with an epiphone about my true calling in life after reading a few passages from the ever famous "What Color is Your Parachute?" Can I learn to love myself and find self-worth by reading a book of the same title?
I don't think it can work. My mother is an adamant believer that it can. We have argued this point many times. I think we all know ourselves well enough to understand our own mindset. Saying to ourselves "snap out of it, think positive!" is not going to instantly change our lives. I am, by nature, pessimistically optomistic at best. When my serotonin levels are up, I think everything is going to be just dandy, and everything will work out the way it is supposed to. When they're down, I'm convinced the universe is conspiring to keep me miserable for the rest of my life. I already know exactly what is wrong with me. I know where all my problems stem from, I know what makes me the way I am. Can a few thousand words on a page actually change my entire life?
So I'm embarking on an experiment. For the next two months, I will read every self-help book that I can fit in to my already busy schedule of moping around, crying about my lack of finances, and stressing over the lack of color in my parachute. So, probably about four. I'll actually follow the advice in the books. If, at the end of that sixty days, I have found some major insight into my own way of thinking and managed to completely turn it around, won the lottery by the sheer power of positive thought, or even found a job I actually love, then I'll admit defeat. If not, well, I get nothing, because I can barely take on a multi-million dollar industry and convince them to admit they're wrong. I get the satisfaction of knowing that I'm right though, even if no one else feels the same.
So watch for the new "Pretty Nameless Self-Helpless Experiment Blog," which I'll link here as soon as I create it.
4 months ago
2 comments:
I'm going to be serious ... for once.
The thing about self-help books is that they give hope. Not help. Hope.
Whether or not they are effective is totally up to the reader. If the reader is stuck in a rut, a change of perspective can do wonders. Sometimes that change comes in the form of a book that professes to have all the answers. If that book acts as a catalyst to change, you can't really say it failed.
The problem, and this is a huge problem, is that people go into these books thinking a miracle will happen. They'll get to the end and all their problems will be solved. That is never the case.
The answer isn't in the books. The answer is in the reader.
If I wrote a self-help book it would be short and to the point. "Look in the mirror. See yourself clearly and ask questions you can give honest answers to. Be brutal, and take the answers you find and utilize them. Ask yourself how the choices you make affect the place you are in life. And then act."
No self-help book is going to make a job appear or help you win the lottery. But it may (if you let it) help you deal better with the stress involved in job seeking.
I think this will be an interesting experiment. I think you already know the outcome. I think you won't be surprised ... at least not by what you already know.
Oddly enough I was coming to write, almost word for word, what Doug wrote.
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